How do you make love stay?

Be open and honest without being too hurtful.

Hold tightly without suffocating.

Learning from mistakes.

Apologizing, and accepting apologies in return.

Encouraging growth withough being pushy.

Affection and admiration without control and jealousy.

Communication and compromise.

Confidence.

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

I work too much, but I can't seem to make myself stop, and I don't know why.

I miss my friends.

It breaks my heart when Ricky worries about me cuz I'm working so much.

Why can't I justify cutting back? Why do I feel inadequate unless I'm pushing myself to my breaking point?

I don't even know what I'm avoiding anymore.

I'm going to bed.

Sometimes I get the feeling that I didn't come back to decatur for myself, but for others. In particular, my brother Steven. Anyone who really knows me knows how much my brothers mean to me. Now I feel so helpless. This situation is out of my hands, all I can do is be a support, which I have no problem doing. I just wish there was more I could do to help my brother. He doesn't deserve any of this. He has had a hard enough life already. He deserves so badly to be happy and have his children, but it seems that the simplest things in life are the hardest to acheive.

What I dislike about this whole thing, is how angry I'm getting. I hate not having control of a situation. I hate watching him go through so much pain. I just wish I could shield him from all this, but I can't. I hate that I get so angry at her that my hands shake, my chest gets all red, and tears well up in my eyes. Now I am forced to sit here and be patient till morning. I'll clean my apartment some more, that might provide enough of a distraction, cuz I'm prolly gonna be too upset to sleep.

G'night.

Currently Listening Rebirth By Gackt see related

Ok, here goes for the much needed update.

First off, my birthday was the 26th, it pretty much sucked. I sat around all day waiting for calls I pretty much knew would never come. Mom remembered obviously, and Ricky called me, but I didnt really want to do much cuz we had spent the past few days fighting. The only other person to call me was Josh Tucker, who I have barely spoken to in over a year, which meant a lot, but still i was pretty bummed so I didn't want to get out. I got a few myspace birthday wishes, from bonnie, lisa(a lady a worked with at menards), ricky,drew sent me a message on myspace and heidi. I think that was pretty much it. I didn't hear from either of my brothers or my sister in law. Thats what killed the most. Steve at least came by work 3 days later, and he knew the date and how old i was, so it seems he was just really busy. Still haven't heard from Bill, but then again, he might not even remember, and plus he has a lot going on. It still hurt that people forgot. But like I said, some things apparently won't ever change. But now I'm 22, and I'm debating on what I want to go back to school for, cuz the massage thing looks like it will be a hobby more than a career.

Next update, I have moved. Ricky and I finally got a place together, we have been here about a week. Its pretty freaking awesome I have to say. Its tiny but its nice. Its weird moving in together after only about 4 months, but it feels right. We have a lot of fun, and I love having my own space. Just leave a comment if you want to know where its at, and I'll prolly post my new number on myspace bulliten or something. I would love to have my friends over, whenver I have time. That is the problem, since I'm still working two jobs. I average about 50-60 hours a week between both of them. Our place isn't exactly good for a lot of people, but still most of my friends are use to being cramped into a single room anyway, so it wouldn't be much different.

So yeah, thats pretty much sums it up right there. A lil crazy I know. So, if you want to come check out the place leave me a comment and we can work something out, cuz I miss my friends! =^_^=